Kiki Rocks!

Things What Indonesian Should Bring

2009-01-02T14:29:00.006+07:00

It's globalization, but still we have to remember from where we came from. Think globally, act locally. That's the incredible decision for a girl from east part of the world if she will go to abroad.

As an Indonesian, I realized that it's so hard to keep our existence if we live in the other part of the world. Such as for some business trips or even the longer living abroad for study importance. Or even just for short trip to refresh ourself when the holiday comes.

We must not forget the big parts of all, but if you wonder about the little stuffs, actually the little parts are the most important things for us to remember.

IF YOU ARE AN INDONESIAN, DON'T FORGET TO BRING THESE THINGS ABROAD, OR YOU WILL REGRET IT.

1. Chili and Tomato Ketchup

It's A MUST ladies and gentleman. Asian can live without rice, but they can't live without spicy foods. Just for your information, Chilli and Tomato Ketchup can represent Indonesian's tongue for sure. We like tasty and hot food. We mix most foods with chilli. Even if we go to Korean foods restaurant, and there's lots of different kinds of chilli, but we just fit to mix the foods with our own normal chilli sauce. Trust me!

2. Instant Noodle

For your own sakes, I wish you bring packs of instant noodle. Fried or steam noodle, it's up to your favorite. Lots of flavours in each soy sauce and spices mixed with ketchup and chilli. It's really Indonesia. Delicious, tasty, simple, easy to cook and it's not wasting your time. The other advantage of instant noodle is you can mix it with another foods such as vegetables, scrambled eggs, onion, meetballs, sausages, and the other greenies as your choices.

3. Pictures of your home, families, boyfriend/girlfriend and friends

Well, for this it's up to you if you want to bring the softcopy or the printing. The simple way is bring the softcopy and save it into your cellphone or flashdisk. But I suggested there's at least a small printing of your beloved one on your wallet. You must be happy all the time when you see his/her face when you open your wallet.

4. Things that smells like your bed

I'm sure that we have our traces and smells left on our bed. I don't know wether it's your pillows, bolsters, blankets, bedsheet, or your dolls. You have to bring one of your fave stuffs from your bed. Cause the smells can help you from homesick suffering. It helps many people at their moving time. It helps you to fall asleep.

5. Traditional clothes

In one day when you live abroad, sometimes you feel like you want to show the other communities that you are from Indonesia. Just show it without shame. Be proud that you are an Indonesian. Wear something that really Indonesia and show some of your cultures to the world. It would be nice to memorize all of you got back there. Give everyone a new knowledge of your country. It helps you to enlarge your friendship with foreigners that are attracted with your style that day.

What I Feel Now

2008-08-14T10:43:00.003+07:00

*** Kamu Sadar, Saya Punya Alasan Untuk Selingkuh Kan Sayang?

Keinginan sederhana:
Dicintai dan diterima apa adaku.

Bila ada yang mampu melebihi rinduku terhadapmu
Aku akan mundur malu dan menghilang dari jiwamu.

Bila ada sakit yang melebihi perih butaku akan cintamu
Aku akan berlari menuju laut yang membenamkan jazadmu.

Terimakasih untuk dosamu yang menjadikan aku perih
Perih selalu terlalu kuat untuk tidak terlihat.

Aku mengesampingkan perih di hatiku
Karena aku mencintaimu.

*** Kata-kata Yang Dimengerti Hati

Tanpa kata-kata.
Pasti ada bahasa yang diciptakan tidak untuk bergantung pada huruf dan angka.
Pasti beberapa dari kita memiliki kemampuan menggunakannya.
Bercinta menjadi sebuah proses klimaks dari berjuta-juta kalimat sia-sia yang disampaikan dalam basa-basi berbahasa.
Kejujuran dan keinginan yang sebenarnya adalah yang tersimpan dalam hati.
Hanya dalam hati saja...

*** Comment saya tentang buku ini:
SAYA SUKAAAAA... Bahasanya saya bangettt... Salut deh buat Tamara Geraldine!
Saya juga mau nysul lo nulis buku yang seperti ini.
Saya suka bahasa vulgar yang menohok hati dan membuat orang yang membaca berpikir bahwa mereka juga mengalami hal yang saya tulis.

If You Ever Felt...

2008-08-14T10:27:00.003+07:00

If you ever felt ALONE

If you ever felt REJECTED

If you ever felt CONFUSED

If you ever felt LOST

If you ever felt ANXIOUS

If you ever felt WRONG

If you ever felt WRONGED

If you ever felt UNCLEAN

If you ever felt ANGRY

If you ever felt ASHAMED

If you ever felt CURIOUS

If you ever felt USED

BE PREPARED TO FEEL

REVENGE

FEEL THE ROMANCE

MY BRUTAL ROMANCE
MY BEAUTIFUL ROMANCE
MY MISERABLE ROMANCE
MY X-RATED ROMANCE
MY HARLEQUIN ROMANCE
MY INNOCENT ROMANCE
MY WHATEVER ROMANCE

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

I'll Be Remembering You

2008-08-03T17:14:00.001+07:00

Salvation is Here

I dare you to move....
That's a sentence taken from a song by SWITCHFOOT, called Dare You to Move.

This is not a sharing time I know. But I'm stucked. Trapped in the middle of a complicated relationship. People sometimes do know what they have to do and what has happen with their hearts. But if you are in disguise and knowing what happened to your heart but the situation is way more complicated than a work life. I can say that you are in a big problem.

To choose something is a VERY HARD ACTION to do.
To loose someone is a LIFE-TIME REGRET if you decided the wrong decision.

In my fave book called Twilight and its second sequel New Moon. There's a terminology, called "imprinting".

Imprinting is a terminology for a situation that someone feels like he/she really loves someone though they have never met before or already met, it feels like they really want to take care to their imprinting couple all the time, adore them until they want to sacrifice their life to them, want to make their couple happy all the time, just like a perfect match to each other, they can't be separated, their hearts glutinate until the end of time, and they do not know why all of these things happen. It just happens. Yea...

I thought I felt these imprinting things these two months. And I don't know what I have to say anymore. It hurts my heart. I love him so much. More than I love myself. But I realized that love is not always the reason for us for being together. It's a forbidden love that I have to forget. My existence ruined his life, my present is unwanted by people surround us. I hate being a dumbass and such a scum. Feels like I want to die. I hate myself. :'(

It hurts...
My heart
My heart
Beats for only you
My heart is yours

Maybe you think that I'm a foolish
But I can't stand here anymore
I scream, I cried
But still everyone lied

I'm living lies
Where are you my prince charming?
It choked my eyes
In fact I waited for nothing

Shoot me
Slit me
Burry me
Burn me

I have nothing to loose anymore
I am alone with this darkness
I am dying on a shore

Kill me
Break me
Fuck me
Split me

I have nothing to regret
Since you kissed me
At the first time we met

I am here
Alone
With the air
It's all gone

I am empty
And no words would help me

Blasphemy
Core
No love
Anymore

I will go
Somewhere
And fade away
From your tear

Be happy
Hey enemies
Your anger
I would miss

Smile baby
I will go from your life
Till the day you remind me
Just forget our hearts you deprived

June Fashion Transformation of Kiki Pinker

2008-07-19T11:44:00.008+07:00

Well, though it is in the middle of July, everyone requested something that I actually think it's not important to share here, but just in case they wanted to see me wearing something different so bad that I can't say NO because of they're all my friend. So let's get the laughters on if you feel like to laugh or saw something funny while you saw me in those apparel hahha.

Me in normal clothes

Me, was I getting a fever trying those things

Me in Batik dress, I know you may laugh now... :D

Trying the sunglasses

Back to normal...

I think that's all for my fashion transformation monthly report...

Will make you update for sure next month or when I did something different or ROCKS!!!

See ya friends! :P

Wisata Kuliner Bulan Juni: Nasi Bebek Goreng

2008-06-18T17:37:00.002+07:00

Di bulan Juni yang damai ini (dilihat dari sudut pandang hati saya), sudah beberapa tempat makanan (yang enak maupun biasa saja) telah saya kunjungi. Bukan mau mencela dan mengkritik kejelekan dan kekurangan tempat makan makanan yang tidak enak justru sebaliknya, saya mau bagi-bagi info tentang tempat makan yang enak saja. Bukan karena mau promosi, bukan karena saya dibayar untuk itu, tapi mungkin tujuan saya adalah mempraktikkan Word of Mouth hahahaha. So marketing...

1. Bebek Kayu Tangan
Rating: *****
WOW!!! Kenapa saya kasih rating 5? Karena setelah saya mencoba 1 porsi Nasi Bebek Kayu Tangan saya jadi kepengen makan bebek itu lagi. Rasanya dan konsep penampilannya itu lo beda banget dengan nasi bebek ala Surabaya yang khas berminyak dengan bumbu kuning juga mungkin ada beberapa yang memberi serundeng goreng.
BKT (singkatan dari Bebek Kayu Tangan) memang berbeda dengan yang lain. Alih-alih dia menyuguhkan serundeng goreng, bukan saudara-saudara. BKT disuguhkan dengan kremes ala Ayam Goreng Bu Suharti yang enak itu lo. Pokoknya kremesnya uenak pol. Bebek gorengnya juga yummy. Empuk dan bumbunya merasuk sampai ke dalam. Untuk sambal, standard saja. Sambal berwarna coklat yang banyak mengandung cabe. Pedasnya pas.
Untuk yang tidak terlalu nge-fans dengan bebek karena merasa bebek goreng itu amis, BKT juga disuguhkan dengan beberapa irisan jeruk nipis. Nah itu berguna untuk menghilangkan sugesti bau amis bagi orang-orang yang merasa bebek itu amis.
Atau kalau merasa bumbu sambal kurang berasa kalian juga bisa menggunakan tetesan jeruk nipis tersebut di atas sambalnya seperti yang dilakukan teman saya Tomi (saya makan pertama kali dengan dia di BKT, dan saya setuju dengan rekomendasi Tomi yang begitu baik mengajak saya makan di sana, Tomi melakukan word of mouth).
Kalau saya lebih suka menambahkan kecap manis di sambalnya dan jeruk nipisnya saya buat cuci tangan biar harum hahahaha. Memang orang berbeda-beda.
Buat yang mau berkunjung ke sana, BKT berada di daerah Bratang. Nasi Bebek Kayu Tangan berada di depan bengkel modifikasi motor. Untuk soal harga jangan khawatir. Untuk satu porsi bebek lezat saya rasa harganya wajar. Coba aja sendiri.

2. Warung Bebek Depan StasiunPasar Turi
Rating: ***
Di sini nasi bebeknya disuguhkan dengan sangat tradisional sekali. Kalau kita pesan untuk dibawa pulang, bungkusnya terdiri dari kertas minyak dan daun pisang. Lucu.
Rasanya maknyus. Bebeknya masih berminyak dan bumbu kuningnya sedap. Gak mau kalah juga, dengan pesaing lain yang sama-sama menjual nasi bebek di Surabaya, di sini khasnya adalah sambalnya. Sambal Pencit (mangga muda). Wuih pedas kecut cocok sama bumbu yang merasuk di dalam bebeknya.
Kenapa saya hanya memberi bintang 3? Karena meskipun bebeknya enak tapi ukuran bebeknya dipotong kecil-kecil. Warungnya dari luar terlihat biasa saja tidak ada yang spesial. Karena lingkungannya di sekitar stasiun itu juga yang memungkinkan para pembelinya kebanyakan masyarakat sekitar yang kebanyakan pria yang bekerja di bidang yang berat. Maka porsi nasi adalah lebih banyak dari ukuran bebeknya. Jadi terlihat pelit. Hahahaha.
Saya pernah membeli bebek ini di malam hari dibungkus dan sampai rumah saya lupa memakannya karena capek. Tapi keesokan harinya saya cek ternyata masih enak dimakan dan tidak bau. Jadi cara menggorengnya mungkin salah satu faktor bebek ini masih awet.

3. Bebek Cak Sandi
Rating: ****
Yang ini sepertinya semua pelajar dan ex SMAN Komplek (1, 2, 5, 9) Surabaya pasti sudah pada tau dimana tempatnya juga keunggulan rasanya. Iya Bebek Goreng Cak Sandi ada di depan Magnetzone juga di depan SMAN 9 Surabaya.
Warung yang berdiri sederhana di atas trotoar ini telah menjadi legenda hidup di antara para pelajar. Sampai semua pelajar di luar SMAN Komplek dan SMPN 1 Surabaya pasti sudah pernah merasakannya.
Di sini bebek yang sudah dibumbui, digoreng lalu disguhkan dengan seperti biasa khas Surabaya, bumbu kuning yang sedap dan sambal yang gurih. Bebeknya juga gurih. Salah satu rahasianya adalah sambal yang di campur dengan minyak bekas menggoreng bebek. Jadi gak hanya bebeknya yang gurih, sambalnya juga.
Untuk cabang lain Cak Sandi yang ada dekat Mall Galaxy, maaf ya, kok saya kurang sreg ya? Tempatnya kotor, jadi kelompok KKN saya pada bulan Februari yang ditugaskan di Kelurahan Tambaksari lebih memilih untuk berlangganan makan di Cak Sandi di dekat SMAN Komplek dibandingkan dengan yang di Galaxy.

4. Bebek Suwir Depan Telkomsel Depan Plasa Surabaya (Delta)
Rating: *****
LUAR BIASA!! Enak, gurih, puueeeeddeeesss. Kalau teman-teman yang lagi datang bulan kepengen makan makanan yang pedes-pedes, datang saja ke sini. Saya jamin rasa ngidam bulanan akan terpuaskan.
Tidak hanya dikhususkan untuk wanita yang lagi datang bulan kok. Kebanyakan pengunjung di warung bebek ini adalah pelanggan setia, karyawan-karyawan yang bekerja di kantor-kantor dan ruko-ruko di sekitarnya sering menyempatkan diri untuk makan siang.
Istimewanya, di sini penyuguhan daging bebeknya yaitu disuwir (diiris kecil-kecil). Mmmmmhhh yummy. Jadi ngiler ;-)~ Selain itu, sambalnya yang super pedaaaasss itu lo yang bikin bibir seperti Angelina Jolie dalam sekejap. Yaahh saya sarankan yang menginginkan bibir seperti Jolie ya daripada buang-buang uang di dokter bedah plastik mending makan bebek di sini saja. Kalau bosan tidak perlu khawatir, bibir normal anda bisa didapatkan kembali dalam setengah jam. Hahahaha. Kalau tidak ingin menikmati bebek suwir, ya pesan saja bebek goreng yang biasa. Rasanya sama enaknya.

New Moon

2008-05-29T17:58:00.001+07:00

I saw no reason for fear. I couldn't imagine anything in the world that there was left to be afraid of, not physically at least. One of the view advantages of losing everything.

I was not allowed to think of him. That was something I tried to be very strict about. Of course I slipped; I was only human. But I was getting better, and so the pain was something I could avoid for days at a time now. The tradeoff was the never-ending numbness. Between pain and nothing. I'd chosen nothing.

Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; it was a hard line to walk.

It was a crippling thing, this sensation that a huge hole had been punched through my chest, excising my most vital organs and leaving ragged, unhealed gashes around the edges that continued to throb and bleed despite the passage of time. Rationally, I knew my lungs must still be intact, yet I gasped for air and my head spun like my efforts yielded me nothing. My heart must have been beating, too, but I couldn't hear the sound of my pulse in my ears; my hands felt blue with cold. I curled inward, hugging my ribs to hold myself together. I scrambled for my numbness, my denial, but it evaded me.

I was like a lost moon - my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic, disaster-movie scenario of desolation - that continued, nevertheless, to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity.

Love is irrational, I reminded myself.

PT. KAI = Produsen Street Emo Punk

2008-05-29T17:56:00.001+07:00

PT. KAI = Produsen Street Emo Punk

Melihat kenyataan yang semakin miris kalau dipikir terus, saya mencoba membuka mata teman-teman yang sok ayu kalau jalan di lobby kampus Fakultas Ekonomi Universitas Airlangga. Kenyataannya saya tidak pernah sok ayu lo ya, saya pernahnya sok yang paling aneh hehehe. Tapi memang aneh kok jadi saya tidak akan mempermasalahkan siapa yang paling ayu dan yang paling aneh.

Untuk pengetahuan saja, saya masih tercengang dengan keputusan PT. KAI (Kereta Api Indonesia) dalam menyediakan gerbong kereta untuk beberapa rute perjalanan di pulau Jawa. Untuk hari-hari tertentu saya berpikir seharusnya PT. KAI dapat menyediakan gerbong kereta lebih banyak dibandingkan hari-hari lainnya. Contohnya Kereta Mutiara Timur Malam dari Jember ke Surabaya. Seharusnya pada weekend mereka dapat mengantisipasi membludaknya penumpang karena keperluan mereka di kota pada hari Senin-nya atau apapun itu yang membuat orang-orang pada ke kota.

Yang bikin saya mengelus dada, karena keputusan PT. KAI yang kurang mempedulikan diri untuk menambah gerbong bagi penumpangnya yang membayar untuk menggunakan jasanya. Kalau sudah mengerti akan hal ini kenapa tiket tetap dijual tetapi tidak ada tindakan yang nyata dari PT. KAI untuk peduli akan kenyamanan dan hak para pengguna jasanya untuk mendapatkan jasa yang terbaik. Katakanlah jumlah orang yang membeli tiket lebih banyak dari perkiraan, pastikanlah mereka mendapatkan pelayanan jasa yang sesuai dengan apa yang mereka bayar.

TERTULIS DI TIKET KERETA API MUTIARA MALAM dari Jember menuju Surabaya yang saya beli pada hari Senin 26 Mei 2008 jam 00.30 WIP.
Nomor Tempat Duduk = "TIDAK ADA TEMPAT DUDUK"
DAMN!!!
Harga tiket normal Rp 45.000 untuk dewasa.
Saya rasa itu adalah harga yang wajar untuk sebuah perjalanan 4 jam. tetapi dengan tanpa tempat duduk??? NO WAY, NOT WORTH A RUSH.

Kau tahu apa yang saya lalui????
EMO GIRL became STREET EMO PUNK
hahahaha saya tak tahu apa ini bisa disebut lintas budaya atau semi metamorfosa...

Setelah seharian menjadi supir untuk orangtua saya, dari Surabaya menuju Jember mengemudikan mobil mereka, keliling kota kecil itu, ke tempat eyang saya, lalu saya menyempatkan diri ke warnet di sana yang loadingnya asik gila cepet banget, makan lontong sayur di tempat pengajian 2 tahun eyang saya meninggal, ke stasiun, dan akhirnya naik kereta api pulang ke Surabaya tanpa ada kesempatan buat tidur.

Saya memilih naik kereta api melihat keadaan bus-bus luar kota di terminal di sana sedang mogok kerja atau rapat memutuskan sendiri tarif baru akibat kenaikan harga BBM. Berhubung Senin pagi ada kuliah, saya hanya bisa pasrah pulang di tengah malam.

Kereta berangkat jam 00.58 WIP (lagi-lagi Waktu Indonesia bagian Pinker). Mengetahui saya tidak memiliki tempat duduk yang pasti di dalam gerbong nantinya, saya memutuskan membawa koran yang saya ambil dari bagasi mobil.

Pertama-tama saya naik ke gerbong 5 dan mendapatkan kemurahan hati gadis berjilbab yang mempersilahkan saya duduk di sebelahnya di nomor 6B. Saya senang masih ada yang baik diantara kerumunan orang di gerbong yang penuh sesak dengan manusia itu.

Keberuntungan tidak berlangsung lama, saudara. Sampai di stasiun kota Tanggul, seorang bapak-bapak yang agak sungkan membangunkan saya yang pura-pura tidur akhirnya datang juga dan akhirnya juga bangunin saya yang pura-pura tidur dengan sopannya. Melihat kelakuan bapak yang sopan itu saya kasihan dan tidak mau lama-lama mengerjainya. Akhirnya saya menyerahkan tempat PW 6B pada bapak tersebut.

Waktu itu saya kepengen pipis, jadi saya memutuskan untuk ke toilet. Di depan toilet saya lihat ada cowok manis, terlelap di atas koran bekas. Waduh saya jadi gak enak mau pipis, selain saya gak mau bikin mas yang lagi tidur itu terbangun karena saya mau pipis, saya juga paranoid takut diintip waktu pipis. haha jadi saya putuskan untuk menahan pipis sampai stasiun terdekat.

Akhirnya, saya mencari tempat duduk lagi dan akhirnya saya mendapati tempat kosong di sebelah cewek yang waktu saya kenalan dia bilang mau ke Batam. Nomor 16C saya duduki. Sambil berpikir kenapa PT. KAI tidak mau menambahkan gerbong tambahan. huhuhu tragis.

Sampai stasiun Probolinggo, lagi-lagi kursi itu sudah ada sang empunya. Akhirnya dengan rasa BETE COK... saya menggelar koran bekas saya... Saya berbaring di sela-sela kursi penumpang yang saling bertolak belakang cok. Maaf, perkataan kotornya kebawa. Tapi bener-bener udah gak tahan. Saya kayak street punker, pengalaman yang belum pernah saya alami sebelumnya.

Akhirnya saya gak bisa tidur, dan menunggu kereta memasuki Surabaya. Sampai di wilayah Waru, kereta berhenti pelan-pelan agak lama. Saya pikir kalau saya loncat dari kereta dan turun di Waru saya bisa mengirit ongkos Taksi. Saya lihat jam dan waktu menunjukkan jam 04.45 WIP. Dengan mengumpulkan niat dan keberanian kuat saya memutuskan untuk loncat dari kereta. Menyeberang jalan raya. Jalan kaki sebentar sambil mencari taksi yang lewat, dan akhirnya saya menghentikan seekor BLUE BIRD yang nyaman. Sampai di rumah pas jam 05.00 WIP dengan hanya Rp 16.000

AAAHHH sampai rumah saya langsung mandi siap-siap kuliah pagi sampai sore. Dengan kesadaran yang terganggu karena tidak tidur selama hampir 38jam, saya masih memikirkan apa yang akan dilakukan seorang pengelola jasa kereta api yang baik melihat fenomena yang seperti itu.

SAYA cuma bisa PRIHATIN membayangkan kembali seorang ibu yang menyusui bayinya di sela-sela kursi kereta api. INDONESIA BANGKIT?? Saya rasa belum...

Jatuh

2008-05-16T19:16:00.003+07:00

Cewek EMO = Wonder Woman??

Jatuh adalah kata yang tepat untuk dianugerahkan kepada saya di bulan Mei yang penuh dengan uhhhmmm apa yah... hikmah dan berkah hahahaha.

Telah terjadi kecelakaan di sekitar jalan Dharmawangsa (seputar kampus B Unair) pada hari Kamis 15 Mei 2008, pada pukul 15.30 WIP (Waktu Indonesia bagian Pinker).

Menurut saksi mata yang menyaksikan kejadian tersebut dengan mata dan kepala sendiri, pertama-tama keadaan lalu lintas sangat tenang dan aman terkendali. Saksi mata yang sedang duduk di kawasan fotokopian sambil menunggu pesanan fotokopi-nya melihat ada 3 pengendara motor (yang salah satunya adalah pengendara Yamaha Mio biru yaitu Kiki Pinker) berada di jalan yang sepi, aman dan tenang terkendali. La kok tau-tau muncul seorang pengendara motor sialan (yang dijadikan tersangka pada akhirnya karena memang dia bersalah) yang keluar dari jalan Srikana dengan kecepatan berpuluh-puluh kilometer per jam.
Alhasil saudara, pengendara motor sialan itu bersama motornya menabrak 2 pengendara motor di depan Kiki Pinker.

Alhamdulillah teman-teman.
Saya cuma rem Fire (Yamaha Mio-nya Kiki Pinker) mendadak. Trus Fire berhenti tepat waktu dan tidak menabrak 2 korban lain dan satu tersangka di depannya. Tapi Kiki Pinker yang adalah saya sendiri adalah terlontar beberapa meter dari tunggangannya. HAHAHAHA

Lucunya...
setelah terlempar dan terguling-guling beberapa meter dari motor kayak di race Moto GP di sirkuit Catalunya, Spanyol (haha bangga juga pernah merasakan adegan kayak di tipi-tipi). Saya bangun dan berdiri tanpa rasa marah, tanpa rasa malu, tanpa rasa bingung, tanpa rasa bersalah, tanpa rasa sakit, tanpa rasa ingin membalas dendam pada sang tersangka. Saya langsung menghampiri Fire, naik Fire, terus melanjutkan perjalanan dengan rasa hambar.

Orang-orang di tempat kejadian pada bingung semua melihat saya...
Saya tanya sama kalian sekarang...
Apakah aneh ada orang habis kecelakaan terus berdiri dan melanjutkan perjalanan dengan tenang seperti itu?
Saya sendiri juga bingung, saya kan EMO nih. Paling enggak, biasanya saya akan melampiaskan kemarahan, atau jengkel sama tersangka atau tawuran memukuli tersangka sampe babak belur atau apapun itu yang berkaitan dengan melampiaskan emosi, tapi tadi benar-benar aneh.
SANGAT ANEH.
SAYA BISA JADI ORANG SETENANG ITU.
ANEH BUKAN????

Well, pada akhirnya, saya sampai di rumah dengan selamat. Tapi apa yang saya rasakan adalah terlambat. HAHAHA
RASANYA SAKIIIIIITTTT.
Memar-memar muncul di bagian kaki dan tangan.
ADUUUUUHHH SAKIIIITTT.
Untung pake helm kalo gak, mungkin kepalanya juga ikut memar.
Kayak KDRT aja hahahaha padahal abis kecelakaan.
Untung gak berdarah, saya kan phobia darah. Bisa-bisa histeris kalo ada bagian tubuh saya yang berdarah hahaha (kecuali period khusus cewek yah).

Ya udah disukuri saja ya....
Daripada kecelakaan-kecelakaan sebelumnya yang pernah saya lewati. Kecelakaan inilah yang paling membawa banyak hikmah dan manfaat. Ada baiknya juga kecelakaan yang menimpa saya ini, yaitu:

1. Jadi mensyukuri karena saya masih diijinkan hidup sama Tuhan.

2. Jadi termotivasi cepat-cepat menyelesaikan skripsi (hahaha karena kecelakaan ini terjadi setelah saya konsultasi topik skripsi sama dosen favorit saya, bukan dosen pembimbing saya yang susah ditemui itu lo ya huhu).

3. Jadi pernah merasakan apa yang pernah dirasakan rider Moto GP favorit saya, Nicky Hayden, jatuh di race, dia di gravel, saya di aspal.

4. Jadi terkenal, diliatin orang-orang satu jalan Dharmawangsa.

5. Jadi GR, karena dibilang WONDER WOMAN sama salah satu pejalan kaki di sana hue hue hue.

6. Jadi termotivasi pengen cepet-cepet lulus terus kerja, terus nabung, terus punya banyak duit, terus punya rumah sendiri, terus punya mobil sendiri. semuanya beli pake uang sendiri. (WAH kalo ini ya semua pengen).

7. Jadi agak mengurangi kecepatan kalo naik motor, WIPE OFF 5 AJA kayak program pemerintah Australia. Yang tadinya 80 km/jam baiklah saya kurangi jadi 75 km/jam. yang tadinya 60 ya jadi 55 lah.

8. JADI BINGUNG, KARENA EMO SAYA ILANG...
Apa Amigdala saya terkena SHOCK yah?? jadi tadi pas kecelakaan jadi ilang EMO-nya...

hahahhahaha
ALHAMDULILLAH is the only word I could say :P

Memories

2008-05-16T19:11:00.002+07:00

Memories inside my heart
I won't forget them instead
Memories live forever
I won't let them go
For once, I want to keep them
Soon, I will not cry

Through the blood and knife
Let memories enfold my life
When I lost my hope and soul
Memories helped me to breathe
Every single moment
I still remember in my brain
Memories take my hand
Strengthen my broken heart
if you've ever realized
Memories keep us alive

Perjalanan Cewek Emo Berandalan Melarikan Diri Dari Vonis Dokter

2008-05-16T18:59:00.002+07:00

Setelah mengalami berbagai kesedihan yang mendalam ternyata kesedihan berikutnya benar-benar membuatku ambruk. Diambrukkan virus chicken pox a.k.a cacar. HAHAHAHA...

Sebagai cewek yang sok kuat dan phobia rumah sakit, dokter dan jarum suntik pokoknya yang serem-serem, sakit adalah pantangan, dan diusahakan untuk diredam dalam hati saja.

Tapi ternyata Tuhan berkata lain. Tuhan masih ingat aku. Aduh Tuhan makasih yah!! Telah memberikan aku alasan bolos kuliah setelah ujian di kampus yang melelahkan dan ujian hati yang bikin sakit hati.

Dokter memvonis, "Mbak Kiki ini kecapekan dan banyak pikiran (dalam hatiku "Anjrit darimana dokter ini tau kalo aku banyak pikiran akhir2 ini") terus DROP, di saat drop itulah virusnya masuk ke dalam tubuh. Makanya saya minta diusahakan agar mbak Kiki bed rest yah!! 5 hari!!"

Kiki Pinker menyela, "HAH??!! 5 hari, dok?? aduh dok, kelamaan... 2 hari aja ya, dok?? please...??"

Dokter menjawab dengan sabar, "Aduh mbak, gak pake nawar-nawar ya, mau sembuh total gak?? itu biar virusnya gak menyebar lebih luas... yahh!! ini saya buatkan surat izin buat di kampus."

Dengan wajah lesu, "Aku kan pengen kuliah, ketemu temen-temen, makan di kantin, jalan-jalan."

Mama yang duduk di sebelah menasihati, "Udah diredam dulu, biar cepet sembuh, kamu itu udah umur 23 masih kayak umur 13."

Kiki Pinker yang masih ngeyel, "Huhuhuhu kan bosen di rumah... makan.. tidur.. makan lagi.. tidur.. makan.. tidur lagi.. paling selingan nulis blog sama nonton dvd avatar.. huhu lama-lama aku kayak babi.. huhuhu"

Mama akhirnya menjawab, "Ya udah telpon Ochie aja, ajakin ke rumah, ngobrol, main gitar sana ta ya apa... tapi masalah makan, harus makan gak boleh gak makan!!!"

Akhirnya petualangan cewek emo berandalan yang kena cacar dan patah hati lalu ingin menghibur diri pun di mulai. Inilah kisah saat aku bed rest selama 5 hari tersebut:

- Hari ke-1, Rabu 7 Mei 2008
Pulang dari dokter, naik motor (coba kalo yang sakit adik saya tercinta yang paling ganteng, yang kuliah di fuck hukum, anak emas, langsung ke rumah sakit yang mewahnya kayak hotel di deket FKG Unair itu lo, dianter naik mobil pula, saya bukannya cengeng tapi saya muak, mentang2 saya gak ganteng gitu? hahaha tragis), ke apotik ngambil obat eh beli dink. Tumben-tumben tuh dokter ngasih resep obat import yang mahal. Biasanya generik dan murah. Lah ini kok import dan mahal. Waduwh parah banget apa yah sakit nya???Setelah itu, pulang ke rumah makan yang banyak.Ochie dateng ke rumah dan menculikku (dengan izin mama yang kasian ngeliat aku bakalan bosen di rumah 5 hari ke depan).
Jalan-jalan ke Tunjungan Plaza, nonton di Tunjungan 21, FORBIDDEN KINGDOM.
Liat-liat batik, beli lipstik warna vampire yang pucet banget hahaha terus aku pake keren haha kayak vampire kurang darah beneran haha tapi kalo orang-orang tau pasti diketawain, vampire kok sakit cacar hehehe, liat-liat sepatu cewek yang ayu-ayu (maksudnya di sini adalah high heels 10 centi).
Terus ke TBI (The British Institute) nganterin Ochie placement test, sementara dia ngerjain soal placement test, aku ngecengin aja headmaster-nya hahaha GANTENG kayak Gerard Way bukan ganteng seh tapi GUANTENG. HAHAHA namanya Sam Brennan, orang Canada. Sama ada satu teacher yang aku suka sejak dua tahun yang lalu Manuel Toren, orang Inggris. Setelah Ochie selesai, dia menunggu panggilan interview and OMG, ternyata yang interview sekarang MANUEL hahaha. Oh mata abu-abu nya itu lo bikin meleleh. Tapi ya sudah lah lupakan he's got wedding ring. Married already sejak aku campakkan 2 tahun yang lalu huhuu TRAGIS. hehe sejak kapan dia mau sama aku? hehe
Terus pulang.

- Hari ke-2, Kamis 8 Mei 2008
Di rumah dengan bosen sampe akhirnya aku menawarkan diri buat jemput adik yang SD pulang dari sekolah. Diijinkan.
Naik motor (Fire), ke sekolah SD yang dulu juga SD-ku, jemput adik, pulang.
Lalu dengan mata berkaca-kaca, seraya mengerlingkannya seperti PUSS IN BOOTS di film SHREK, akhirnya aku diijinkan ke BABA NET, warnet deket rumah. hahaha berhasil!!
Setelah berhasil melarikan diri dan bersenang-senang mengutek-utek friendster tercinta, bales email dari beberapa teman, cari bahan skripsi, tiba-tiba Ochie telpon.
O: "Kamu dimana bu?"
K: "BABA BU BABU hahaha. Lapo bu?"
O: "wah aku lagi butuh koneksi internet, aku dari BPS ni cari data hutan gak ada, aku ke baba juga ya sekarang?!"
K: "Yo karepmu bu, mreneo onok fansmu sing raksasa bar mulih sekolah iki operatore hahaha"
O: "hahahaa nggilani, iyo iyo tungguin ya. C U"
K: "iyo cepetan"
Akhirnya Ochie dateng dengan Mona (mobil Karimun merah tercinta yang selalu mengantar kita dalam sedih dan senang, suka dan duka, penuh air mata dan darah hahaha tau lah cewek).
Setelah beberapa jam happy karena koneksinya secepat flash tiba-tiba rasa senang itu pupus karena dirusak keharmonisannya oleh cowok item gendut yang sok koneksiin laptopnya ke sambungan warnet yang bikin koneksi di sana jadi beber-bener kayak siput. TAI COK! Lapo wong iki nang warnetku hahahaah. meskipun secara kepemilikan bukan warnetku tapi saya merasa memilikinya dan menyayanginya karena saya sudah menghantuinya sejak warnet itu diresmikan beberapa tahun yang lalu.
Akhirnya setelah kecewa, aku dengan Fire (motor Mio-ku), Ochie dengan Mona... beriringan konvoi pulang ke rumahku. Ochie mengeluarkan 6 jemblem bikinan eyangti yang enak sebagai oleh-oleh untuk cewek yang sedang sakit cacar. hahaha aku bahkan lupa kalo lagi sakit cacar. hahaha
Ke kamar, mainin lagu "TEARS & SMILE" (lagu yang aku ciptakan bulan April kemarin) yang direvisi sedikit di bagian chorus akhir, akhirnya kita memutuskan rekaman di laptop pake software audacity kalo O ke rumahku lagi.
Hah ketik C spasi D, capek deh... terus ke NIC NET, warnet lain yang agak jauh, surfing sebentar, udah gitu makan BAKSO PAK SALAM di deket kuburan. hehehe
terus pulang...
malemnya sama mama ke Rumah Sakit Islam, ngambil obat buat aku lagi huhuuhu. Tragis.

- Hari ke 3, Jumat 9 Mei 2008
Ini hari yang sangat cerah untuk hanya dihabiskan di dalam rumah atau kamar yang membosankan. huhu terbangun di pagi hari, mimpi indah tentang apa yang terjadi 2 bulan yang lalu dan terbangun karena air mata. masih jam 4.10 subuh. Apa yang sebaiknya kulakukan? Tidak ingin melanjutkan tidur. yaaa akhirnya jalan menuju komputer dan lihat Avril Lavigne Official Video - The Best Damn Thing yang baru kudownload kemarin. HAAHHAHA
Iya bener... konyol... kayak aku... seseorang dulu pernah mengatakan... kalo lagu ini konyol dan ceria kayak aku jaman dulu... huhuhu gambaran cewek konyol yang ceria mungkin pernah ada padaku, tapi sekarang? mungkin pura-pura konyol dan pura-pura ceria. tapi siapa yang gak sedih kalo merasakan apa yang kuhadapi beberapa minggu ini. berat sebenarnya, gak gampang. Harus memilih di antara dua kubu.
Jam 6 pagi Ochie telpon:
O: "Bu..."
K: "Iya?"
O: " Ayo aku temenin ke BI?!"
K: "Ngapain bu?"
O: "Ke perpustakaannya, cari data statistik, terus kita jalan-jalan lagi hehehheehe"
Tanduk setan mulai tumbuh di atas kepala ku. mmhhh hahahahaha
K: "HAHAHA ayo bu, ayo kita melarikan diri."
Jam setengah 9 Ochie menjemputku.

Di koridor Bank Indonesia

Ke Bank Indonesia terus, ke Plaza Surabaya (DELTA) liat-liat sepatu ayu (kali ini 7centi, karena yang jaga counternya jutek akhirnya kita ilfil gak jadi beli), terus digodain cowok Arab di sana hiiiiii takuuuut, terus ke BABA NET hahaha doyaann, terus pulang, ke kamar ku yang kedap suara dan kita RECORDING lagu TEARS & SMILE. Karena hari sudah sore, jadi hari ini baru rekaman suara gitarnya dulu. Belum suara manusianya. ya udah gitu aja. Lumayan seru buat seseorang yang harus total bed rest hahahaha.

- Hari ke-4, Sabtu 10 Mei 2008
Semalem gak bisa tidur, mainan friendster pake hape berjam-jam. Ketiduran, akhirnya bangun jam 7, mandi, liat-liat skripsi stres gak maju2 huhuhu, makan, minum obat. Jemput adik yang SD. Pulang. Ketiduran... zzzzzzzzzzzzz... tiba-tiba dibangunin Tasya (adik yang SD, hahaha kebanyakan adik sih), Mama minta dianterin ke JMP cari kain bla bla. ya ayo diantar saja. ada sisi baiknya dari perjalanan ini, saya dibelikan terusan batik hehe lucu deh. Kiki Pinker pake terusan? DRESS maksud loh?? haha pengen liat? ntar deh fotonya aku pajang di album di friendster ya... mumpung bulan Juni ada 2 acara kawinan temen. 1 di Surabaya, 1 lagi di Kediri.
Di perjalanan pulang, Bobby (adik yang kuliah, yang anak emas, haha bodo amat kalo dia ikutan baca blog ini) telpon, mengabarkan kalo band dia mau manggung di SMAN 1 Surabaya di acara EVEREST 2k8 (Event Besar Arek SMA Satu). Well HEY, my ex-school. OK akhirnya di perjalanan pulang aku, mama dan tasya mampir di SMAN 1. GOSH, so many berondongs. tapi gak ada yang catchy di mataku. Kembali aja ke tujuan semula. Memberi semangat sama personel RIP The Girlfriend dan Hippocrazy, beserta teman-teman yang berperan penting sebagai kru. Nonton mereka manggung dan pulang.. haahahahahaha
sudah... pulang... laper... beli nasi bebek deket rumah...
TIDUR AJA...

- Hari ke-5, Minggu 11 Mei 2008
Bangun karena air mata lagi... Mimpi indah apa yang terjadi 2 bulan lalu... Masih ingat dengan jelas. Sangat jelas. Watta beautiful days...
Aku rasa aku sudah sembuh. ALHAMDULILLAH. No more chicken pox. Dalam masa penyembuhan. Masih tetep minum obat.

KABAR GEMBIRA, Senin 12 Mei sudah bisa mulai kuliah.
Aku cuma bisa berharap, dengan ketemu teman-teman dekat yang tahu segala permasalahan yang aku hadapi beberapa minggu ini, bisa bantu aku MOVE ON.
Mari kita sibukkan diriku dengan berbagai kesibukan teman hahaha. APA ADA GOSIP TERBARU SEPUTAR KAMPUS??
MEMBUSUK DI RUANG BACA cari bahan skripsi mungkin juga membantu. huehuehue.
Ayo ayo Kiki Pinker harus kembali ceria...
LET ME HEAR YOU SAY, HEY HEY HEY!!!
Alright, NOW LET ME HEAR YOU SAY, HEY HEY HO!!!

(//_!!\) ==> (//_^\)

Monopoli Yang Bikin Bingung

2008-05-09T14:23:00.004+07:00

Bukan hanya sumber-sumber kekayaan negara yang merupakan kebutuhan masyarakatnya seperti air dan listrik saja yang dikuasai oleh satu lembaga.

Bahkan Bunaken dan Danau Toba juga dimonopoli oleh seseorang bernama Atria (yang adalah adikku). Aku yang hanya punya uang sebesar $ 5 jutaan setelah menanam investasi besar berupa hotel mewah dan rumah megah di Kuta, Bali dan Jayapura harus bertekuk lutut menggadaikan beberapa bangunan dan lahan investasiku yang ada di Pontianak dan Lombok.

Ya ya meskipun tidak seterkenal Bali, tapi strategi investasi yang diterapkan adikku memang sangat alami dan berlogika tinggi. Mungkin besok-besok kalau aku sudah dapat gaji lagi, aku akan menyebarkan uangku di berbagai belahan dunia lain. Aku percaya pertukaran yang menguntungkan satu pihak tapi rugi di pihak yang lain pasti akan menjurus pada penyesalan akibat gagal menerapkan strategi yang brilian. Tapi disini, faktor keberuntungan juga berperan penting. Walau kita menganggap bahwa apa yang kita lakukan sudah memiliki nilai prospek yang besar di masa depan tapi siapa tahu dengan faktor yang satu itu.

Beruntung adalah kata yang tepat untuk menjuluki pebisnis pemula seperti adikku yang satu itu. Memang kita tidak tahu apa yang akan terjadi di masa depan. Apa yang kulakukan yaitu berinvestasi jutaan dolar pada hotel di Kuta, Bali supaya aku bisa mendapatkan hasil yang memuaskan ke depannya juga sebenarnya dipengaruhi oleh faktor mistis itu. Kalau memang banyak visitor interest dan semuanya berjalan dengan lancar pasti semuanya akan berkembang dengan pesat. Tapi ya... lihat saja kejadian tragis bom bali yang membuat Indonesia kehilangan posisi tombak di kepariwisataan beberapa tahun yang lalu, membuat semua bisnis STUCK dan menghadapi jalan buntu.

Alhamdulillah, semoga dengan belajar berinvestasi kita bisa menjadi orang yang lebih memahami lingkungan bisnis, watak pebisnis yang kebanyakan licik tapi smart, mengenal orang-orang baru, dan mengerti bahwa semua investasi pasti beresiko. Tergantung bagaimana kita sebagai pejuang keluarga menjalani, menyikapi dan memutuskan keputusan penting bagi kehidupan investasi kita di masa depan. Amin.

I WAS KILLED

2008-05-09T13:54:00.003+07:00

there's no more reason for me to be happy in my life...
maybe you see me smiling...
but you don't know what I feel inside...
it's not just a sad feeling...
but it's more to dreadful hopeless feeling...
you have never felt something like what I feel...
I ask you now...
have you ever felt a complicated situation...
when you have to choose one of two...
and you love them both...
it's been a wonderful opportunity for you if you can choose...
in my case, I have no choices, buddy...
so I can't find my happiness...
I lost all my hopes...
instead trying to get what I love back in my life, NO...
I'm tired trying...
I'm dying alone here...
hey, the people that always say that you love me!
look at me! are you happy now?
yes, you win...
I'm giving up...

GRAND PRIZE, 3 Times, Got Beautiful Castle

2008-05-08T11:49:00.002+07:00

A silly confession that sounds so ridiculous...
Have you ever got a really serious series of unfortunate events... (with no Jim Carrey as the villain)??
Me? I've ever been in that poor situation, bro!!...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
But I consider it as A LOTTERY...
Or maybe the right words that ustadzs said is EXAMINATION FROM GOD...
Well, if human being has ever got that stuff whatever it called is just the same.

I just don't wanna look like Pharaoh, that was so really cocky but finally he died. I think that arrogance is absolute for God.

Back to a really serious series of unfortunate events...
Me, that was having a lot of pain these 3 weeks and now trying to be stronger person who's in recovery phase from that beautiful pain...
TURN OUT TO BE!!! Have to feel more PAIN.
HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU
But this time it's the real sickness.

3 weeks ago, I got COLD AND FELT QUEASY.

2 weeks ago, EMBITTERED about all the people's insults.

1 week ago, ENOURMOUS CONFUSION cause I have to make an important decision that related with the people I love most in this world.

Days ago, BROKEN HEART, SCHIZOFRENIA, MENTAL SICKNESS cause I have to say good bye to the one I love.

NOW, I got CHICKEN POX at twice.

My thought goes mad, if I get this disease at the three times someday and I can get A BEAUTIFUL BLACK CASTLE at mountain side but beach view, I WANT IT. But if I don't get one, who wants?? NONE.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I just can only laugh. There's nothing I can do to make my life better.

I'm armed with patience, no much talking, pray, went to the doctor, take the pills, calming my heart down with writing something stupid just like this unimportant chicken pox announcement HEHEHE, patching posters on the wall of my bedroom, NARCISM cause not all posters are my idol's but also MY PICTURES HAAHAHHAHA, eating like a pig 4 times a day, SCREAMING singing my fave bands' songs such as ALESANA, THE USED, MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, CRADLE OF FILTH (NYMPHETAMINE, bacause I like that song), LAMB OF GOD, SLIPKNOT, DIMMU BORGIR, EPICA, and many more that includes SCREAAAAMMM...

SCREAM is the only way out in this case...

WHAT'S UP WITH PINKER???
nothing special...
A ROBOT THAT GOT CHICKEN POX
HAHAHAHAHAHA

The Story of Amigdala and EMO Girl

2008-05-08T11:41:00.002+07:00

A flash about science, facts, and my brain perceptions...

The neurologist experts said that there are parts of our body called HIPOKAMPUS - the specialist of memories and storage; and AMIGDALA - the specialist of emotional problem.

So many research proved that a man who gets his amigdala cut to restrain his epilepsy disease, lose interest to human being, means cringing from relations between humans. Though he can counterbalance in some conversations, he can't recognise his bestfriend, relatives, even his mom. Stay pasive even facing anxiousness. With no amigdala, he lost all understating of feelings. The amigdala's function as kind of storage of emotional memories, thereby the meaning of emotional itself lives with no amigdala which means life without personal meaning at all (Goleman D, 1995).

Goleman also clarified, in another research's report was found that the animal who gets her amigdala cut, has no fear and anger, lost impulses to compete and work together on a team, has no more sensitivity of her position in her species social level, and her emotional has gone and vanished.

Tears, special emotion sign of a human being, stimulated by amigdala and the structures near by, named gyrus cingulatus, be carried, be caressed, or be comforted with another way that would please the brain area, and stop the tears. Without amigdala there's no tears as the symbol of sadness, and laughter as the symbol of happiness.

Hipothesys that's created on my brain perception:
NO AMIGDALA --> NO EMOTION
NO EMOTION --> NO EMO GIRL

WHICH MEANS:
NO AMIGDALA --> NO EMO GIRL

Thank God, I have AMIGDALA
But I am a robot??!!
Owh... I can muffle the works of my amigdala
What you see outside is just a fake...

My Heart - Your Heart

2008-05-08T11:33:00.003+07:00

A story that gives peacefullness to our heart...
or even worse... confused to the things that related with science, fact and anything that might be happened to everyone...

At the beginning, there's an advice about disturbance of hearts.
"What am I suppose to do? I lost a peacefullness of my heart, I lost my soul?"
An answer has just given,
"Find a time and peacefull place, on midnight when the people, who forgets their God, sleeping, beg to your God, so God gives you another heart, cause the heart you wearing was no longer yours."

One that would never leave me, you, us...
God... Just God...

SAD

2008-04-04T14:42:00.002+07:00

sedih karena sesuatu...

takut sesuatu hal itu terjadi...

takut kehilangan...

atau terpaksa meninggalkan...

sedih di dalam hati...

yang lain hanya lihat senyuman...

tanyakan apa yang dirasakan...

takkan jawab...

cobalah untuk kehilangan...

karena dengan begitu...

kau bisa meraihku dalam sepi...

KKN PPM-PBA ke-37, Kelurahan Tambaksari, Kecamatan Tambaksari

2008-03-17T10:58:00.005+07:00

Feels like I found a new family with this team. So much fun and so much pain we've been through together. It's not just for the score in our academic life but it's also for the happy time we've shared. This social work team made some programs in selected areas where the poor people lives. Not jst the facility of their neighborhood but it's also lack of skills. So we're here helping people. This KKN programs held from 18 February 2008 until 15 March 2008. The last day (last saturday night) we made farewell party with Kelurahan stuffs and also the people. We feel so excited and useful these time. So here I show you my lovely team.

I LOVE YOU ALL GUYS!!!
I'M GONNA MISS YOU (/^.\\)

Location Love A.K.A. Cinta Lokasi Hahahaha

2008-02-27T15:34:00.005+07:00

Have you ever heard about this one? LOL :) EEEwwww I curse it. but NOOOOO.... it just happened to me hahahahahahaha so I decided to get it out from the curse lists hahaha stupid.

Today, I was so happy, because an unknown reason and finally I knew that it is Location Love (DAMN!).
My social work (KKN) team is having a training to the people near by our location. it is "STICKER MAKING TRAINING", all the people was so enthusiastic to our training. hehehe the 37th KKN PPM-PBA Universitas Airlangga - Kelurahan Tambaksari, Kecamatan Tambaksari is a wonderful happy team (no depression at all, fun, fun, fun).

but I think I am falling in "like" with the speaker hahaha DAMMIT! he's so so so me... cute style with tattoos covered his body and not to forget, piercings hahaha but he's so silence unless someone ask him about something. I like it though. thank God, he gave me his number. yay!! hehehe

February OH February - Sucks, Experiences and WHY

2008-02-27T14:53:00.004+07:00

just for friends that wanted to know more, so it feels like I'm a sucks celebrity that really cares with my fans club (hoek cuih) just for fame reason. hahaha no no it's not the same. OK, this is the update of my life and what had happened. Cause this month I really feel so confused, also busy with social work (KKN - Kuliah Kerja Nyata) programs in high poverty level area in my city, cause it's university requirement. No school this february but yea tiring as it is school time. but I even feel it's more tiring than just use our brain in class. Action needed, so stop keep talking and asking someone to do something. Because you can't trust anybody there unless you do it by yourself.

Not just academic life becomes so different and confusing. "You know what it is" life also becomes so aaaaaaaarrghh. SCARY. 3 candidates wanted to be elected. hohoho they become so annoying and appear in my cell phone through sms or calls everytime and everyday. though noone I would choose from the 3 candidates. I have no symphaty of all. better I choose Barrack Obama or Hillary Clinton from Democrat.

Well, not that. I have my own choice. not them, sorry. for you to know guys.
"I AM FALLING IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER GUY". So get off. you made my life so boring hahaha. Sorry, but it's my decision.

Ok this is for you, WHY a.k.a FUNNY VOICE.
I don't wanna lie to you cause I have my own reason to do all of this. maybe you're the one. Let's pray together, for us. For the best. and for what would be happen in the future. I appreciate you and everything you did. Thanks for made me smile, thanks for made me laugh, thanks for made me happy, thanks for brighten up my days. And the most important thing is thanks for taking me out of the darkness of my broken heart.

WHY... I wish you were here

INCUBUS - Wish You Were Here

Comic (Part 1)

2008-02-21T14:06:00.006+07:00

hahaha meet new friends means more collections and more knowledges. But I dont know what I have to say. I have new friends that really makes me so sensible. hahaha I like the comic he made for me. I like his creation and the drawing, the story is so funny and ridiculous, and also the way he draw my character, ooohhh thats so look like me haha. okay just take a look. sorry we dont have the english version. maybe I will translate it later...

THE CHRONICLE OF PANGSIT AND KERANG REBUS

thanks for Ariest who made this comic for me. Let's go for the real treat hahaahha

Nice Look, Nice Hair, Emo is Love

2008-02-13T18:31:00.020+07:00

I don't know what to write this February. Since 1998, I hate this month. I hate if I have to drive my car or ride my motorbike and look around the street and the pedestrian, they're full of the flowers seller. It's not because of I hate love. Trust me... Love is just for losers and I am one of them. I am a loser too. I love being a lovely creature. Anyway, back to this February thingy, mmmhhh I don't know how to comment, nothing to do with me and FUCKlentine. I don't celebrate it so I don't care. Once I knew that love is everywhere and whenever you want, it would come to you. Don't have to wait for this month to say "I love you" to your beloved one. It's up to me, up to you too, ya kan?? hahaha sorry (I slipped bahasa Indonesia).

For heaven's sake, I don't wanna talk bout it anymore. I just don't know what I have to explain.

I just want to show you my fave rules, quotes, pose, clothes and style...

1. Love your imagination

2. Love your beauty inside

3. Love your creativity

4. Love your decision to do something different

5. Love your hair

6. Love your style

7. Love your ripped jeans

8. Love your t-shirts

9. Love your nails

10.Love your eyes

11.Love your sneakers

12.Love your piercing

13.Love your make up

14.Love the musics

15.Love the tears

16.Love the laughter

17.Love the scream

18.Love the hugs

19.Love the kisses

20.and most of all love your life

Goodbye

2008-02-09T18:41:00.000+07:00

actually I got some ideas of some words these weeks. and finally I could arrange this become a lyrics of my new song. I wrote it last january. and it's kind of a "don't know what to do" song hahaha I am pathetic maybe. let's see. I already got some chords in my brain but I dont have a courage to record it yet since I havent meet my bestfriend to show it off for the first time.
well I hope this drop D guitar chords won't sounds so "just that?"...

[verse 1]
goodbye, I just can say that for him now
just let go, I promise you I won't cry

to be the one that loved
I feel damn don't worth
to be the one that dream
I just have one wing
aaahh... aaahh

[verse 2]
I can't leave, I can't let him go for an escape
He feels nothing, the rain forced me for big think

I wanna hold him tight
to make things alright
Dream him at night
forgot the fight
aaah... aaah...

[chorus]
I feel so lost when you're gone
I feel unwanted here
Please don't dispute me over
Take me up, let me be yours again...

Copyright@2008

That's all... I really feel that happened hahahaha but it's ok... I will go on, my mistake, I have to responsible all the consequences... that's what a knight have to do...

I'm a warrior, not a princess anymore...

Ganbate!!!!

I'M NOT ...

2008-01-31T17:37:00.000+07:00

Do you guys hate it if you compared with another girl/boy?? That's what I felt these weeks. Someone has to know that I can't be someone elses he wants. Just imagine it. You wouldn't be live until this minutes if you always tried to be someone elses.

This all of you have to know!

Clarification of some statements, issues and gossips:

1. I'm not PRETTY

that one, I knew it. OK. so don't compare me with her.

2. I'm not CUTE

well, some friends said that I am super cute and funny with my own way. I melt the ice age with my jokes. but if you still think that I'm not cute, it's your miserable business that you have to remember until your life ends, haunted.

3. I'm not HOT

hahaha I'm sorry for this statement. Because lots of people thought I am hot enough to make your heart beats so fast and get your 'thing' wants to feel me. I could say it's a fact.

4. I'm not HER

I warn you not to call me with your fave nickname to flirt me anymore. The fact, you thought about how DAMN HOT she was, how CUTE she was, and how BITCHY she was.

5. I'm not A BAT

since I'm a human not a bat that likes hanging up there on the tree. Me, tired waiting here, I don't like being hanged with the uncertainty. Plus I don't like waiting someone that cares to another girl (whether his EX-girlfriend or his NEW bitch). Don't leave me hanging in the city so dead.

6. I'm not YOUR TOY

I'm not. I have feelings too. I feel pain and sadness. Don't you ever neglected me or leave me alone here.

7. I'm not A PORN STAR

If someday I become one, I will let you know. For now, I'm just an emo university student. Not much you get from me. So don't ask me to send lots of my topless or naked pics. I would think that you just wanna be my friends because of my boobs.

8. I'm not AN ANGEL

Yes, I'm a sinner. not a saint. Don't feel high if you are a very good christian or muslim. All people has their secrets and black time. So do I. Who cares to all your thoughts. Me? Don't really care now. I'm not a caring person since someone put me in this black hole named MISERY.

9. I'm not EASY TO FORGIVE

Hell yeah, that's my bad side. Once someone hurts me. Then they would feel like in the most pain in their life. I'm not kill them but just let them alive, so they would get the revenge from everything they own.

10. I'm not OKAY

You know what it means.

My Happy Ending

2008-01-31T17:28:00.000+07:00

for you (you know who you are)

So much for my happy ending

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

So much for my happy ending

"I hope you're happy now"

When It Rains

2008-01-17T17:16:00.000+07:00

Paramore Lyrics
When It Rains Lyrics

I cried alot these days because of "you" and this song was my company
Thanks for the cute lyrics, Hailey!

Anyway I got some results of quizes I took yesterday and here they are:

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing.
That doesn't mean you don't rock out...
You just rock out with meaning.
For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

HELL YEAH! IT'S SO ME

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Diseased Despot.

Where You Lived: Turkey.

How You Died: Buried alive.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Sounds so scary....

You Should Date An Australian!

You're a down to earth, outdoorsy kind of girl
And you need a guy who can keep up with your adventures
A rugged Austrailian guy is just your style
Better start learning how to surf!

Which Foreign Guy Should You Date?

Owwhh REALLY???

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

Clothes designer and Composer are OK, Graphic designer is Fine

Your Scholastic Strength Is Innovating

You are the master of new ideas, techniques, and ways of looking at things.
You are talented at structuring thoughts, decision making, clarifying, and making deadlines.

You should major in:

Marketing
Psychology
Desgin
Cognitive Science
Economics
Photography

What Should You Major In?

well yes it's my major marketing management, faculty of economics

Your Adult Film Star Name Is...

Golden Delicious

What's Your Adult Film Star Name?

HAHAHAHA Sounds so NasTy hahahaha am I that Delicious???

You Should Honeymoon in Asia!

If you and your sweetie aren't world travelers, you should be
You have a flair for the exotic - and *will* eat the mystery meat
Asia is the perfect new experience for your new life
From temples to tofu to tech toys, you'll have trouble fitting everything in!

Suggested destinations: Hong Kong, Tokyo, Thailand, Australia

Where Would Your Dream Guy Take You on Your Honeymoon?

Well.. at least it's near by hahaha

Your Daddy Is Johnny Depp

What You Call Him: Pops

Why You Love Him: Because he's your baby daddy

Who's Your Daddy?

GOD!!!! If Johnny Depp is my Daddy, May I marry him??? pleaaasseee....

You're a Playful Kisser

Kissing is a huge game for you, a way to flirt and play
You're the first one to suggest playing spin the bottle at a party
Or you'll go for the wild kiss during a game of truth or dare
And you're up for kissing any sexy stranger if the mood is right!

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

OOOHHH is it my reputation?? could be hhahahaaha

You Are Most Like Charlize Theron

“I think of myself as a highly sexual creature.”

What Modern Bombshell Are You Most Like?

AMIIINNN!!

You'll Find a Boyfriend Within 3 Months

Maybe you need a bit more time to get over an ex
Or maybe you need a confidence boost to talk to new guys
Either way, you'll find a boyfriend in time...
As long as you keep getting out there and meeting new guys

When Will You Meet Your Next Boyfriend?

I HOPE SO

I Miss You So Much!

2008-01-09T17:50:00.000+07:00

I know it's a hard thing to do what they're doing right now in Saudi Arabia. My parents, yea both of them went to Saudi Arabia on December 13, 2007 to do Hajj for 40 days. Actually it's one of Muslim rules if they ready to go. Both financial and health. Both phisically and mentally. I'm glad to know they're doing fine at the moment since they call me and also my brothers and sister every two days and send sms almost every day they want to. It's been awhile. they would stay there until January 19, 2008. And they will come back here in Surabaya, Insya Allah on December 20, 2008.

What I can get around their trip is I've been learning to do everything by myself. My friend said that I've been learning to be a good housewife. hahaha maybe it looks similar. I have to take care of my family, which means:
1. Take care of my brothers and sister
2. Take care of financial spending for foods, fun, and expenses
3. Supervising my maid
4. Communicating what the kids (me and my brothers and sister) want to eat everyday with my great chefs (my 2 super grandmothers who cook so great dishes everyday) that stay at home during my parents trip which means I can't cook so well haha
5. Take care of the house (sometimes I awake in the middle of the night to check the gate and everything)
6. Take care of the car and motorcycles and bicycles
7. Wash the dishes by myself after eat, wash the clothes by myself (it's so hard eventhough there is a washing machine)
8. Find lots of ways to make my little sister feels fun everyday (she's still 7 years old, so sometimes she whipping and crying or screaming so loud "I MISS MAMA!!!"
9. Keep all families tracked
10. Communicating my mom's message in Arisan (housewifes activities every month, held once a month) and lots of things I have to responsible.

While I do my tasks, I have to stay focus with my school. and the final exams weeks are coming. GOD, I wish I could get my self into this - I can say as - hard situation. Well, I thought I've done a great job for Pre-marital housewife learning/training hahahaha

Finally, I just wanna say:
I MISS YOU MOM
I MISS YOU DAD
Come back soon!

ka'bah from the sky - hope you're okay there mom, dad

this is Jabal rahmah, the place when Adam met Hawa from the first time after they're separated
my mom said she wrote my name there so I can meet my prince soon hehehe thanks mom

Your lovely daughter,
Kiki

I Believe God Heard Me - Friends, Canteen and Tomato Juice

2008-01-01T20:41:00.000+07:00

After all this time, it's exactly since August 2007, well it's almost 5 months already. I don't know his name. if you don't have a clue, who is I am talking bout, well just re-read the last 3 post before this one - Central or Pheriperal Route... It's Just The Same... I GOT THE MESSAGE

Hell yeah! I'm talking about "the piercing guy / mas piercing" - the one I like in my university, the one I always stare at when he walks over the corridor, the one that I've ever talked to when the Financial Statement Analysis final test, the one that become my fave guy in the university after I said there's nobody that catch my eyes the last 3 years I've been in that faculty, the one with 3 piercings (under his lips, left eyebrow, tongue), the one I admire secretly and became a public secret at 27 December 2007. Heck!

well, there are lots of canteens in my university, but I just so often to go eat/drink at 5 canteens. there are:
1. Krengsengan / Dadar Canteen
2. SOTO-SOTO / Campur / Rawon Canteen
3. DW / Dharma Wanita Canteen
4. Farmasi / Pharmacy Canteen
5. WARBLUE / Biru Canteen

That time, 27 December 2007, I was sitting in Biru Canteen with some friends enjoying a glass of tomato juice. Then there were some guys just came and sat beside my desk, they're chatting and laughing so loud. Then one of them who's wearing the green shirt and skinny jeans, who speaks with normal sound, I knew he stared at me for some seconds. I didn't realize him until one of my friend - Winda - screaming "PINKER, THAT'S YOUR PIERCING GUY!!!!"....... silent for awhile......

Until I knew that Winda just made all people in that canteen stared at her, me, and the only guy with piercing in that small canteen - who else?? GOD!!! I think I was burnt in shame at that time. HUHUUHUHUHUU!!!!
I dont know what I have to do, so I just laugh at her, fake laugh that sounds so forced. he he he...

Then I looked at him and he looked at me back, and I threw a smile to him and he was smiling to me too. OOOOHHH I was so melting... just like a candle near by a fire in a camp. GOSH!!!

After some conversation with friends, and with red face, and with beating heart, and with a bit confidence, I could finish my tomato juice with mix feeling. Then after some trick finally I got his picture through my cell phone and also got his name through Winda (who knew one of that guy's friends).

here's the time when he was sitting next to me... he just cut his emo hair... and you can't see his piercings from this side

would be more fun if my dream come true huhuhu :,(

anyway, thanks for God and all my friends esp. Winda ^.^

Broken

2008-01-01T20:05:00.000+07:00

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

this is the song of Seether feat. Amy Lee
oh I really feel this feeling now :,( but I love this song

Guys That Caught Me In The Eyes And The Relation With The Existence of Asian Traditional Foods

2007-12-27T19:21:00.000+07:00

Noone knows that I really do this big thing these times of my life. Someone guess that I don't do it because I don't like it, someone guess that I don't do it because it's prohibited here in Indonesia... hahahaha whatta stupid thoughts. but normal humankind really do this "activities". am I right? well, I do it too guys, so don't worry bout my experience, I do a bit training for my self. LOL :D

Talking bout such an "activities", for me, I don't think it's a taboo to talk bout some sex and pregnancy thingie. for me, it could be such an education thing. something important that youngsters have to know about. alot of things could be something important to learn and get our minds wider.

And also, I just remember how these "activities" could help us to be someone that really knows ourself. One of my friend who is a doctor in Slovenia said so. He also mention that "it's" good to our phsycology. we must have brave to be the one that proud to ourself. Until the time I did it for the first time, I trust him now. We all have beauty to joy these things in our life. ^.^

we're all beautiful...

To my fave movies that related to this activities, I can't forget every single scenes of one character I adore in this movies hahaha. From

AMERICAN PIE 1;

AMERICAN PIE 2;

AMERICAN PIE 3 - THE WEDDING;

AMERICAN PIE 4 - THE BAND CAMP;

AMERICAN PIE 5 - THE NAKED MILE;

AMERICAN PIE 6 - THE BETA HOUSE.

yeaaa all my friends must know that I've been talking bout one family name...
THE STIFLER'S always caught my eyes

MY FAVE STIFLER EVER

DWIGHT STIFLER

aaarrrggghh! I cant stand to scream when I saw them...

o'ow girls also have imagination if we saw these kind of guys

One thing for sure hahaha why there's no such a movie called:
MALAYSIAN LAYER CAKE

Sarawakian Layer Cake

or
INDONESIAN LEMPER

Javanese Lemper

hahahaha
I know it's some idiot names for movies hahaha but maybe someone has an idea to make our traditional asian foods become so famous like
american pie

hehehe :P

Central or Peripheral Route... It's Just The Same... I GOT THE MESSAGE

2007-12-22T18:21:00.000+07:00

In Integrated Marketing Communication (IMC) related with Consumer Behavior (CB) subject, I learn something about Elaboration Likelihood Models (ELM). It's not kind of easy theory to explain the details to you in this blog, since it's not an economics site hehe. But it's so interesting to understand and at least to know bout it, view it from the different sights and explore it with the different ways like I want to do now.

*********

# 1 - Central Route
FIRST GUY - He's so me

Hey, I'm single if you ask me whether I'm in a relationship or not. But I think I just get bored with 'pretend being a single' status. Maybe this guy doesn't know or what hahaha. But I woof him. (I know you're smiling when you read this, 'someone out there').

SECOND GUY - My type

This I tell you another story of the central route besides the first guy who doesn't know that I'm bored with 'pretend being a single status'.
I like this guy so much. He's one of a student in my university. Same university (Airlangga), same faculty (economics), same building, different major (I'm in marketing management while he's in accountancy), ever in the same class before (Financial Statement Analysis), discuss the answer and also the formula in Financial Statement Analysis final test hahaha. But until this second, I don't know his name. GOD! everytime I want to ask his name, feels like I'm paralyzed by his eyes. his deep looks. ummmmmh well, he's not handsome, he's not cute, he's sweet. yea he is a sweet emo boy. ooohhhh. He got piercings, one under his lips (that makes him looks so cute and tempting to kiss hahaha), one on his left eyebrow (that makes him looks cuter), and one on his tongue (that makes him so hehee yummy). OK now I'll stop imagining something naughty. and do nothing except praying to God so God gives me a soon answer to know his name or maybe more. So I won't call him "piercing guy" = (mas piercing) anymore. hehehe

# 2 - Peripheral Route
THIRD GUY - Not my type at all unless his beard
if you wanna know him more click this link
Hey hey you you...
I think I like this guy!!!
Nothing special in my life happens these days unless it's Friday morning. mmmh As you know, that I have to attend a Marketing Management Seminar at 7am on friday. So it's not my schedule I want to share to you but the story while the lecture begins. I just feel so different when this guy comes to the class, he is one of the lecturer team of this subject. Actually, from all the lecturers who are so intelligent, open minded, clever off course, and accept any compliments, questions, suggestions or even critics; just this guy has caught in my eyes. hehehe. It's not just because he's still young age than the other lecturer but also he's so patient and hehe cute. And that's it, I like him. Not more feeling in my heart besides just fans feeling to their idol. He's a married man with children so I just want to congratulate his wife and his children to have a husband and a daddy who is so cool, cute and clever. Well, some of my friends said that this kind of guy is not my type at all hahaha. Yea, I think so. But maybe because of his performance I became so aaaarrggh I don't know how to explain in words. In ELM theory, this kind of message caught in advertising or something, called Peripheral. Because yea I just look at and just get the interest to the endorser, means this lecturer. I can't stand to smile when I look at his face. I remember last Friday class. I was asking some questions bout my last research plan to him and I asked some questions with smile because I just can't hold it. Lucky me, he's also smiling during our discussion. For this section, I will make his name anonymous in this blog. It's not because of I'm ashame by myself telling this kind of story in public blog, but it's for protecting his privacy. So... for 'someone out there', don't be jealous hahaha.

Can't Find It Everywhere, Or It's Just Me.. Blinded

2007-12-12T19:16:00.000+07:00

Can't do anything elses besides trying to find topics for my final research and paper (halah susah banget ngomongnya padahal cuma mau bilang skripsi). huhuhu my brain feels like lack of ideas. I'm looking for phenomenon which is happening these days, years. help me friends. (pikiranku buntu banget nih). I feel so depressed and like I wanna cry all the time.

this is the time when I really feel like Homer Simpson. huhuhu :( brainless. but o'ow no.. I'm not brainless. I have smart brain if I can find the idea.

I'm not stupid, just need ideas to turn everything on. I'm searching for a light. to show me a secret pathway to ideas. GOD! help me...

I lost weight because of this. Searching for the great topics. from 50 kgs and now I just got 47 kgs. damn. I wanna gain weight btw (a little bit, just to have bigger boobs hahahaha after I got bigger boobs I will loose my weight again to normal weight 50 kgs) but since the searching avoid me to gain, so I will just keep my body health and fit, just that for these days, since lots of friends fell sick during these hard days.

keep crazy is also the part of ideas seeking

Education, science, knowledge and tittle are so difficult and expensive to get. But health is the most important thing through all.

From Zero to Hero (part 1)

2007-12-10T18:10:00.000+07:00

huhuhhuhuhuhuhuhhu I know it's all my fault, taking the risk to offer this topic in Marketing Management Seminar subject as my final research and paper (SKRIPSI) to the great lecturer of marketing management in my faculty - Mr. Sri Gunawan = Pak Gun. The topic was :

EXPERIENTIAL MARKETING EFFORTS OF "SLANK"
TO HELP IT BRANDS BECOME
THE CULT BRAND IN INDONESIA

well, as you know that Slank is a very famous rock band in Indonesia and it founded in 1983. it becomes a legend since this band
always have top hits in every albums the have launched. mom said that I was
so weird offering that topic but I felt so enjoy to do this research.

Slank members

SLANK logo as tattoo = CULT BRANDING

yea but.. finally Pak Gun said that I have to learn and read more about
experiential marketing and looking for more journals bout this topic if
I want to develop experiential marketing as my basic of research. this topic
was less focus and I have to change the way I think bout "feel"; "sense";
"think"; "act" and "relate". (Bernd Schmitt concept including "Customer
Experience Management" (CEM)). yea okay I will choose one from that five
different types that developed from experience.

GANBATE PINKER, LOOK FOR ANOTHER TOPIC!
simple and interesting ideas... help me...

Ku Ingin Kau Tahu

2007-12-05T19:09:00.000+07:00

terjadi yang sering terjadi
perlakuan yang menyakiti hati
kau sebut dia, banggakan dia,
seakan ku tiada arti

aku bukanlah dia
aku pun istimewa
dan kau tak pernah tahu,
perkataanmu,
melukai dinding hatiku

#
jangan lagi kau ulangi perkataanmu
sekali lagi ku dapati kesalahanmu
aku akan meninggalkanmu
walau berat isi hatiku
ku ingin kau tahu

adakah kau mengakui diriku
terlihatkah lekat kelebihan diriku
kau ceritakan dia
banggakan dia
seakan aku tiada artinya

#
engkau tak pernah tahu,
perkataanmu,
melukai dinding hatiku

jangan lagi kau ulangi perkataanmu
sekali lagi ku dapati kesalahanmu

#

ku ingin kau

ku ingin kau tahu

click here if you want to download the song:
Rebecca - Ku Ingin Kau Tahu
http://virlian.multiply.com/music/item/23

Everything We Had

2007-12-05T19:00:00.000+07:00

You were the only face I'd ever known.
I was the light from the lamp on the floor,
and only as bright as you wanted me to be.
But, I am no gentleman, I can be a prick,
and I do regret more than I admit.
You have been followed back to the same place I sat with you drink for drink.
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist.

Everything we had, everything we had,
everything we had, everything we had is no longer there.

It was the only place I'd never known.
Turned off the light on my way out the door.
I will be watching wherever you go,
through the eyes of a fly on the wall.
You have been followed back to the same place I sat with you drink for drink.
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist.

Everything we had, everything we had,
everything we had, everything we had is no longer there, longer there.

You saw for yourself, the way it played out.
For you, I am blinded.
For you, I am blinded, for you.

I am no gentleman, I can be a prick.
And I do regret more than I admit.
You have been followed back to the same place I sat with you drink for drink.
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist.

Everything we had, everything we had,
everything we had, everything we had.
Everything we had, everything we had,
everything we had...

I'll be with you wherever you go,
through the eyes of a fly on the wall.

If I Could... (Part 2)

2007-12-05T17:05:00.000+07:00

guess what?! fIrst of all, I wanna sAy sorry to you. You know who you are. I'M sorry. I just can't find a way to tell you about my doubt lately. There'S still sO many feelings that I can't explain to you and I felt so deppRessed and disenchanted because of some Reasons which I also can do nothing to avoid this. woof You!

*********

this is the continue of the last time, so if you forgot about the 4 things I would do if I could, or maybe you just check this page today and have some willingness to know me more :P (seems like I've ever heard it somewhere, a long time ago), just see the older posts first okay! or you will be lost the train to go to the funniest and the greatest party ever hahaha... (kayak gue suka party ajah, padahal kalo ada party gue suka mojok sendiri, cari tempat sepi, nikmati kesendirian, malsuin senyum) = (it seems like I really like parties, in fact you can find me in the empty corner, enjoying the lonesome, faking smiles)

#5
If there's a specialist school and if I could enroll there. I would apply to MOTO GP school.

FIRST TRY
I wanna take the test to become a MOTO GP RIDER.

Nicky Hayden - Repsol Honda rider

It's one of my serious dream if I have facilities to support my speed hobby on the streets. But since the last time my brother got serious injury because of it, so I less the speed. I don't wanna end my life in the tragic way.
Since my fiance hahahaha Nicky Hayden is one of the top riders in this world, I really get my self into it. I wanna feel the 289 km / hour speed. In circuit. I wanna try to wear the coolest wardrobe which is so tight hahaha so you can see my body shape. :P well that's not an important reason though. I saw there are few woman riders in the motorbike race class. and it's one of the role of the women actually. To become the breaktrough of any rules hahahaha. since God created the first woman - HAWA.

this video also can answer how come a rider would enjoy their life. Plus my Nicky act there and also his ex-partner Max Biaggi as one of the testimonials. And also big surprise for Ochie cause there's Dani Pedrosa (when he's still in 250 cc) in the last testimonials in this advertisement. I'm proud there's woman riders sponsored by Repsol too. :P

SECOND TRY
If I failed in the first test to be a rider, I would take the second test to be a PIT CREW.

well, it's one of the important part in the race, though it would not make you so famous unless you become the board of the rider. the director. but at least I could meet the rider and the rider can consulting about the parts of the motorbike. :P

THIRD TRY
It's a huge ashame if I couldn't pass the second test though. hahahaha it means I have no talent to be an engineer hahaha but if it's so, I would take the third test. the final test to the failure women hehehe.
this is maybe the easiest test you think. but it would be the hardest test ever, since I have to compete with so many girls to be the rider's UMBRELLA GIRL.

wooooooooo! Yamaha Rossi - Umbrella girl

poor Nicky - I should be his umbrella girl
(apakah Honda gak punya umbrella girl yang lebih ayu?)

it's me - STARBUCKS COFFEE Umbrella girl
wanna be Nicky Hayden's umbrella girl now

wala! hahaha that's what I like. competition to be just like Adriana Stoner. "The Cinderella" of the MOTO GP story. :P the fast way to be like her. :) (IBU NEGARA)...
to anyone who doesn't know who is Adriana Stoner, I tell you a story then. Adriana was Casey Stoner fan back there in Australia. they first met in Phillip Island Circuit in Australia year 2004. She was waiting for Casey Stoner there to ask his autograph and take some pictures together. But all of sudden Casey likes her. Then few months later Casey wants her to become his umbrella girl. less than a year they're become a happy couple in 2005 and she's so patient to be his fave umbrella girl and also his girlfriend. After having special relationship, God blessed both of them, they got married in early 2007. whatta cute destiny. :)

Adriana Stoner and Casey Stoner

#6
the next big dream. If I could buy my own motorbike without having some complaint from my families hahaha (I thought they wouldn't give any complaint if I buy it with my own money - and I would buy it with my own money someday of course). I would buy my fave motorbike. heehe it's HONDA CBR 1000 RR. Why???

HONDA CBR 1000RR RED

HONDA CBR 1000RR Fireblade Repsol
It's small and cute but big enough for girl like me... well not just that, I like the body, the engine as long as it's not 160 cc (I heard it's not strong enough to be the street race motorbike).
besides, look at this advertisement video of HONDA CBR 1000 RR down here.

I ask you now... who's the endorser??
want a hint?
IT'S MY FIANCE!!!
NICKY HAYDEN
HAHAHAAHAHA

There's Always be Something Hidden

2007-11-27T19:18:00.000+07:00

mmmmmmmmmmmm..........

huhuhuhuhuhhuhuhuhu.........

It's not my day. I'm not O*fuckin*KAY. I'm not in a good condition right now to post a long story, reality, dream or maybe fantasy hehehe
but I always try to pick something to share to you, my friends.

Story of the year - Sidewalks

There always be something like this video in the real life... and I'm afraid it would be happen to me recently or in the future... I would do anything to make this just another story of another couple :( sorry I dont want these kind of things happen to you too guys but sometimes if you've ever felt this way, you have to realize that you loose her / him already. Don't you ever beg for his / her love anymore. Because you'll look like shit!

After all, it's not my day and I've said it twice with this one.
SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wellknown Characters

2007-11-24T17:14:00.000+07:00

As I live in this world, country, island, province, city... there are lots of things, characters and people I've ever met / known and I have interested to.
It's not just about I like them physically, but I also look at their thoughts, minds, and perceptions bout something.
I don't care about what people say about the reason why I like or even love them so much. Why I really adore them in top ratings of my list.
It's not just about their faith it's also bout our connection as human being. Though some of them are not human in reality. The figures on tv screen are also become kind of inspiration to my life.
So if you wanna dig me more, this is the start.

#1 - MOM

this is my mom
I love you so much. Can't measure my love since I was born 'til the death come. Can't forget your warm hugs when I was surrounded by the craziest humidity and the coldness of the dawn years ago in Bromo mountain. Can't think anymore if I see you cry, it feels like I wanna kill anyone who makes you cry. You're my life and you're always be. I love you Mom! Thanks for being there - by my side - when I was down in the hardest time. Pray for me, I wanna be like you someday, to be a good wife and a good mother for my children.

#2 - Fred and George Weasley

I can't make any differences between these guys hahaha
Thanks for teaching me one lesson to face this cruel life and to keep smiling after the hardest time passed by. HUMOR is the answer of many wars or fights. Laughter always be a good thing and the start of the meltdown phase of the cold war hehehe. Without you guys, this world wouldn't be so interesting and challenging.

#3 - Alexander Graham Bell feat. Morse

Bapak Alexander Graham Bell

Bapak Morse
for creating phone. the radical inovation of 20th century. without your brain guys, we wouldn't be better creatures the next 20 years?? what am I talking about? dammit...

#4 - Gerard Way (again??!! hahha)

for being the bravest guy who did pale make up in early 2000. No one dare to do such things. And you were my inspiration. I used to love pale make up. pale face, pale lipstick, black eyeshade, and black wardrobes. everyday. (and it's also influenced by vampire look, I love vampire character btw). yea, and until I realized and also tried to learn there are so many colors that worth to try to be wardrobes too. hehehe (it's because of mom's wish). now, my life is so colorful. but still, if you ask me what my fave color are, it's still black and pink hehehehe.

#5 - Nicky Hayden

Nicky and me - his fiance

my nicky
wow! this guy rocks my life hahahaha. I love this guy so much. I tell you a story then. 1st of March 2006, Ochie got a date with Dani Pedrosa in M-Web. she wanted me to join her in their date. How cruel you asked me a favor dude?! hahha but I didn't regret it. Thanks for introducing me to Nicky Hayden. The guy of my life. And my fiance now. Really happy when he won the race back at 2006 series as world champion. proud to be his girlfriend, his fiance, his umbrella girl hahaha. I'm crazy...in love.

#6 - Bert McCracken

my ex boyfriend - bert (I'm sorry)
after all, you're the one who gives me lots of inspirations of many lyrics of my songs I wrote so far. You had something, but I dont know exactly what it is. The greatest part of your character is your capability to produce, found and use the collaboration of unique and common words become a whole song that unique, ambitious, emotional and deep at the same time.
Thanks for letting me used your photo as the header of this page (at upper left).

#7 - Gaara (in Naruto series)

the cartoon version

the real version
I like your style, man! I love it. it's the mix of emo - goth style. I love it. The make up of your eyes and the tattoo on your left forehead are the coolest make up I've ever known.

#8 - Hiro Nakamura (Masi Oka in Heroes series)

Hiro Nakamura
woa!!! I like your talent. Travel everywhere, every places in this world through time and space. I want to have that kind of talent if I can choose and buy it in special store hahaha.no need pasport and pay the expensive fiscal if I want to go everywhere around the globe. why the government makes our love hard to reach sigh.. Duh!! Government payah!!

#9 - Tinkerbell

Goth Tinkerbell - I draw this

Punk Tinkerbell
I like your wings, you're beautiful, wish I have wings too and flying around. So I can avoid the traffic jam if I wanna go somewhere hehehe. that's the coolest part hahaha

Baby, Come On

2007-11-19T11:41:00.000+07:00

She's a pretty girl, she's always falling down
And I think I've just fell in love with her
But she would never remember, remember
And I can always find her at the bottom of a plastic cup
Drowning in drugs' sincerity
A sad and lonely girl

#
Quick crying your eyes out
Quick crying your eyes out and baby come on
is it there something familiar about me
the pass is only the future with the lights on
Quick crying your eyes out baby

and she said
I think we running out of alcohol
tonight I hate this fucking town
and all my best friend will be to death with me
but they will never remember, remember
so please take me far away before I melt into the ground
and all my words get used to against me
You're sad and lonely girl

#

the acoustic version, +44

this is the live real version, +44

this is the guy who teach me to play it alive with his guitar, thanks to you Elliott

thank God you created these kind of guys, my type :P

Make You Smile

2007-11-19T11:30:00.000+07:00

The last time I saw you, you turned away
I couldn't see what the shine shining in my eyes
I said hello but you kept on walking
I'm going deaf from the sound of the freeway
The last time I saw you, you turned away
I couldn't hear what your voice ringing in my ears
Do you remember where we used to sleep at night
I couldn't feel you, you're always so far away

The first time I saw you, you turned away
I couldn't see what the smoking in my eyes
I said hello but you kept on walking
I'm going deaf from the sound of the DJ
The first time I saw you, you turned away
I couldn't hear what the noise ringing in my ears
Do you remember where we used to sleep at night
I couldn't feel you, you're always so far away

#
I don't, don't wanna take you home
please don't, don't make me sleep alone
If I could, I'd only wanna make you smile
If you wanna stay with me awhile

The next time I see you, you turn away
I say hello but you keep on walking
The next time you see me, I'll turn away
Do you remember where we used to sleep at night
I couldn't feel you, you're always so far away

#

this is the real version, +44 feat. Vicky

this is the video of someone name Felipe TS, from Rio de Janeiro. I like the song but since he played the drum parts, I think this guy is so awesome. he played much better than my bro :P
well, I fuckin like it! eu gosto de ti, salute!

If I could ... (part 1)

2007-11-15T18:12:00.000+07:00

hey madam and pimp, lawyer and whore, simpanse and coach, artist or chemist, punker or emoer, elf or hobbit, viking or vampire, hooligan or bonek, boys, girls, or pansies, straight, gay, or bisex. whatever you are, just gather here to make this page full of interesting people from anywhere you are.

# 1
I really can't feel glad inside or Make a beautiful smile for you these days. If I could turn back time, I would be the luckiest person ever. And I wouldn't do something that can make my heart hurt like what I feel now. I want to touch you, but I can't. I want to hold you, but I can't. I want to say "I love you" in fRont of your eyes, I can't. I want to KisS you and cry to you, I can't do it. I want to Make you mine, I alsO can do nothing. It's not just because of the ocean and lands. It's youR hEart that won't turN. It kills me (insides). I want you...

# 2
If I could go somewhere, I would go to Budapest, Hungary. Cause Ochie and I had some experimental surveys and we found out that Europe is heaven for any girls in this world. Especially, Hungary.

This country has so many cuties around. hahaha you can see boys in every blocks of streets and building. (don't be picky there cause the ugliest boy there is much more 100 super ultra multiple times handsome than (sorry) boys in Surabaya hahaha (sorry once again)).
So maybe if I go there, I would stay near schools or universities building or maybe the boys hostels or dorms hahaha (some naughty plans come out).

# 3
how does it feel to be different from me, are we the same? If I could be another person in one day, I would be... uuhhmmm

Boys: Gerard Way (the vocalist of My Chemical Romance)

hwhwhwhaaaakakkaakk first reason, I wanna know how does it feel to be a boy, well to have a penis hahaha, I admit this is my first interest. I wanna know how does it feel to sing in a big stage. How does it feel to kiss another boys and hoping to another girls (since Gerard my honey is bisex). Maybe it would be nice.

Girls: Angelina Jolie

why? you must know it that Angelina has big boobs, sexy body and cute butt. well there was my second reason though. :P well the first reason is I wanna feel how "it" taste. what is "it"? "it" is have sex with Brad Pitt wooooo.... hahaha dreaming?!!! I wanna feel how does it feel to have lots of children from different parts of the world too. Kinda interesting and sounds so wow to me.

# 4
maybe this is the craziest part ever. If I could have a baby now, but I don't have a husband yet to make a baby now, or not allowed to marry someone I love, or any other stupid reason. I would got to SPERM BANK in NEW YORK.

I would beg for Nicky Hayden's sperm hahahhaha. because I love him so much. I am a big fan. LOL til I wanna have a baby from his seed hahaha. I think you know now that I am crazy enough to do such things.
Well I have to save lots of money to do it. Money for the air trip, money for hotels and hospital rooms where I put the seeds inside my body. money for buy the sperms. hahaha and wait for 9 months and 10 days and then the baby pops up. whatta cute little baby. and if it's boy I would name him Nicky Hayden hahhaha. happily ever after.

Yesterday's Feelings

2007-11-15T17:49:00.000+07:00

Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind, where worries are washed out to sea.
See the changes peoples faces blurred out, like thesunspot and raindrops.

Now all those feelings those yesterday's feelings will all be lost in time.
But today, I've wasted away for today is on my mind.

Left the only worries I had in my hands away from the light in my eyes
Holding tight and tried not to hide how I feel
Cause feelings mean nothing now

all those feelings those yesterday's feelings will all be lost in time.
But today, I've wasted away for today is on my mind.

I can't care to worry, I'm feeling so lonely, breaking apart all this love in my heart.

MY Wonderful Life

2007-11-11T18:00:00.000+07:00

These are some stories that I want you to know guys... oh wrong it's not a story these are the facts.

1. Ochie aka Arinda Oktavyasti (hahaha kebalik ya bu?)

she's the greatest bestfriend I've ever had and thank God I found you. Thanks for accompanying me "ROCK THE NIGHT" in Singapore. Remember our butt-kicks, crazy around the Orchard Roads, being two stupid persons looking for the way out in Plaza Singapore hahaha, breaking the window of my second floor house (cause I forgot the key), being in fear factor
show for bestfriends in Plaza Jemursari (me-eating the octopus sushi eeeewwww), road trip Surabaya-Sidoarjo-Surabaya (seharian bersama Ochie), being in a kissing class hahaha, being there when I was happy and down. I love you and wanna be with you forever. Let's
buy an appartment together.

2. Tuna & Salmon Sushi and Mie Ramen Mushroom - OTAFUKU at Plaza Jemur Sari (regards to the owner and the chef, ROBY)

this is the front side

seaweed on the left and salmon sushi on the right

mie ramen mushroom

I love it.
my fave japanese resaurant, menus and chef ever.

3. My automatic motorbike - YAMAHA MIO SPORTY "Meow"

since my brother crashed my HONDA KARISMA X (manual motorbike) so I thank you MIO for accompanying me to my university every weekdays. I love you and will take care of you.

4. My dad's Car hehehe - TOYOTA INNOVA "Elmo"

even I didnt buy you with my own money hahaha I love you so much. thanks for taking me to all malls in Surabaya and sometimes to my university if it's raining outside, thanks for being a good listener for me if I really have bad days and thanks for letting me play EMO, SCREAMO and ROCK music. Thanks Elmo

5. Super Klenger Burger

I dont know if my night goes without you hehehe fast way to gain weight, hahha thanks for your existance hahaha. I did viral marketing. practice it wooo. teacher see my blog and get me A+ for Marketing Management Seminar hahaha

6. Pink and Black

for being two funny colors of my life hahaha. wish I can have an electric guitar with these kind of motives.

7. Tom - My first guitar

I LOVE YOU and I WANNA BE WITH YOU ALL MY LIFE!

ROCKSTAR*

2007-11-11T17:33:00.000+07:00

hahaha just these days, I rather worry with my nick name. Actually, it's not "pinker" or "pink" or "punk" or "Kiki" anymore.

Before I go through, I'd better let you know that I like to make a different autographs in different forms or somewhere I need to make an autograph. For a formal forms just like in id card or driving license or school stuff I use the real one. and for the informal stuff, such giving sign in attendence paper, or for fans hahaha, I use the other sign of autograph. hehehe maybe it's weird for you to know but I like it. For your information, the shape of the other signs look like "Rock*" shape. :P and the real one has my name shape. Here take a look.

Here is my real sign

Here is the other sign

Since that, I realized one thing. There is a lecturer in my faculty. He's in marketing management major. I meet him alot since I take 3 classes whose the teacher is him this semester and 4 classes before (plus we're in the study excurtion program in Singapore together with the groups last year 2006). He gets the respect of the class. But I give more of respect since I know that he has a willingness to know more bout something or the details than the normal people do.

One day in 'Retail Management' class. the class turned in a good debate and discussion. I was really not in the mood once again and I dont have a good quality brain to answer or to take my chance to get inside the discussion that time. I don't really care bout getting lots of points or scores to make a good mark in this class. you know why. But suddenly, I woke up from my silence. There was a voice said, "Come on, Rockstar! dont you wanna give your voice inside it? it's interesting topic. Maybe you wanna unload all the problem you got when you visit the retail store". Gosh! all eyes stared at me. I can't do anything except processing the words until I realized that it was me. Oh how does he know... ah I got the answer, he knew my signs. And since then he and some of my friends call me with that name.

Intelectuals , weirdos, geeks, friends, populars, cafetaria workers, office boys, outsiders around my campus now call me "Rockstar"... Hehehe ok I accept it then. another blessing I guess. :)

I missed something from all of this. I missed some friends calling me PINK, KIKI, PUNK or sayang. huhuhuhu (really hope for the last one).

I miss you... I really do...

Unapolagetic Tragedy

2007-11-11T17:19:00.000+07:00

Without knowing how I can be this way, I really don't know why I felt so stupid and dissapointed. Gosh! I can't stand pretending to be the one that happy and satisfied. Why God gave me such the disease? It's maybe nothing for you, but it's truly annoying and bothering me eventually if I wanna do some activities. Well, what is blog for if I can't share with you. Let's start the tale. These are the diseases...

1. Focus problem
This one could make me so unproductive. Let's see the case. Couple of days ago, I got "Integrated Marketing Communication" midtest, then suddenly, without knowing why and what was happened, I really lost the mood that afternoon. It's dissapear such a sudden. DAMN. I tell you why I feel so worry bout this. When I lost the mood, I become so confuse. Got blank brain, can't focus to something and I can do nothing.It's so damn sucks, it happened when I got midtest in the first 15 minutes. I suppose to write the answers about 4 pages folio. But because of this focus problem, I just filled in the answers just about 3 pages only. I'm not all-out.

2. Short Term Memory Disorder (just sometimes)
About this, we'll go through the example. Once I drive car or motorbike, sometimes I felt so, I dont know how to explain this. I felt appear somewhere and forgot which streets that I took and what situation happened on the way to go there. So it's kinda confusing.

The Hardest Part of This are ...

2007-11-04T09:23:00.001+07:00

Sunday, early in the morning (around 4am) 28th October 2007

My brother got a terrible motorbike accident, bleeding around his face. huhuhu you can see her nose bleeding and ripped. oh my God. My 1st Phobia: BLOOD
we have arrived at the first hospital (Rumah Sakit Islam, the nearest one) which was said "I'm sorry, we cant help" damn. then we went to the emergency instalation in the second hospital (Rumah Sakit Dr. Soetomo). He got some emergency treat. the the young doctor sew his nose and done.
we're there waiting for 4 hours.

Tuesday, 30th October 2007

he felt something happen with his nose bone and he wanted to my mom to do some x-ray.
the X-Ray results: broken nose bone. poor him... the doctor said he has to do surgery

Wednesday, 31st October 2007

My little sister 7th birthday, we had dinner together and went to the doctor to make surgery appoinment. :(

Thursday, 1st November 2007

the surgery started at 8 am. I have to attend two classes today at 7 am and 10 am. but I decided to absent for the second class (though the lecturer is so killer). thank God the third hospital is near by my campus (Rumah Sakit Husada Utama). this hospital is so fabulous. Gosh there are hotels inside it. Meeting room and supermarket. Five star hospital I guess. but still it's a hospital huhuhu and I have to get inside it. :(
My 2nd Phobia: HOSPITAL

10 am I was there accompnying mom and sister waiting for my brother, Bobby, surgery.
finally it's done at 12. Gosh. then the doctor asked us to see him in the critical care unit. I'm in hospital. and now I have to go inside the CCU. okay. I took a deep breath. this is for him, my brother. I will do that.

I got inside and saw him and I saw lots of scary stuffs. huhuhu

this was his condition after surgery

isn't it scary :'(

this is my lovely brother, Bobby. hope he gets better soon.

Friday, 2nd November 2007

The most mental moment I've ever had huhuhu.
Today I got a class at 7 am and my groups was choosen to do presentation. I drove my dad's car and went to the hospital to give my brother his cellphones. I parked the car at the 2nd floor parking lot and realize that the access door there was locked. DAMN so I went to the lobby at the first floor and found the lifts were shuted. black out in the the five star hospitallll.
nnooooooooooooooooooo.......
nightmare
so I have to go up to 6th floor, room 603 on foot through emergency stairs. WHATTTT!!! it was 6:55 am and I have "Redifining Loyalty" presentation at 7 am
huhuhuhu the emeregency stairs was so dark and scary and long way to go. huhuhu I'm afraid if something coming up : SUSTER N? SUSTER NGESOT? SUSTER GEPENG? and kinds of scary ghost in Indonesian movies. GOD!

finally I got there and down to parking lot again. SELAMAT!

the end of the journey :)

It Begins Here...

2007-10-30T12:51:00.000+07:00

Well... (it's the first word actually) hahhaha :P

This year I really have a more complicated life than before... dont know what to say except, here it is... my life...

get lots of friends, ex boyfriends, new boyfriend hahahha through this high tech civilitation...

I love my life, I love my accounts everywhere, I love my friends, I love you...

Thanks for you know who you are:

Helder Farinha in Canico, Portugal

Blaz Cugmas in Ljubljana, Slovenia

Artem Manokhin in Izhevsk, Russia

Rosie in Canada

Thomas Wright in Chicago, US

and someone in Shah Alam, Malaysia hehehehe :P

you all guys are parts of my heart and my life...

we'll meet you someday

Peace out :P